2782 Bingamon Branch Road

How to have Healthy Boundaries with Your Parents

May 16, 2023
Ellen Johnson

Healthy Boundaries with Parents in Adulthood

One of the most common themes that has come up in therapy lately is how to navigate healthy boundaries with parents (and in-laws… but we’ll save this for a different post!). When you become an adult, the dynamics between you and your parents change. And they should. But it may take time for everyone to adjust their expectations with these shifting roles. It can be hard to navigate, but it's essential to establish healthy boundaries with your parents to ensure a balanced and fulfilling life. 

Why are healthy boundaries important?

Boundaries are essential in all relationships, including those with your parents. As you evolve into adulthood, it's crucial to create a sense of independence and establish your own identity. Setting healthy boundaries can help you: maintain autonomy, reduce stress, improve communication, and enhance romantic relationships.

Tips for setting healthy boundaries

Self-reflect: Before discussing boundaries with your parents, take some time to reflect. Identify what you are feeling, what you need in your relationship with your parents and what areas might require setting limits.

Communicate openly: Initiate a conversation with your parents about your boundaries. Be honest, respectful, and assertive when expressing your needs. Remember that communication is a two-way street, so be prepared to listen to your parents' perspectives as well.

Be specific: When discussing boundaries, it's essential to be specific and clear about your expectations. This will help avoid confusion and misinterpretation.

Start small: Begin by setting small, achievable boundaries and gradually work your way up to more significant limits. This approach can help you build confidence and make it easier for your parents to adjust.

Be flexible: Boundaries are not set in stone. It's essential to be open to adjusting your boundaries as your relationship with your parents evolves and your needs change.

Navigating resistance and challenges

It's natural for parents to resist changes in their relationship with their children, especially when it comes to setting boundaries. Here are some tips to help navigate these challenges:

Remain patient and empathetic: Understand that your parents might need time to adjust to the new dynamics. Be patient and empathetic towards their feelings and concerns.

Reiterate your needs: If your parents are struggling to understand your boundaries, reiterate your needs and explain why they are essential to your well-being.

Seek professional support: If you're finding it difficult to navigate these changes on your own, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and support throughout the process.

Being healthy finally made simple